第8章

Voiceswereheardattheendofthecorridor。Mrs。Ambrosewasspeakinglow;WilliamPepperwasremarkinginhisdefiniteandratheracidvoice,“ThatisthetypeofladywithwhomIfindmyselfdistinctlyoutofsympathy。She——“

ButneitherRichardnorClarissaprofitedbytheverdict,fordirectlyitseemedlikelythattheywouldoverhear,Richardcrackledasheetofpaper。

“Ioftenwonder,“Clarissamusedinbed,overthelittlewhitevolumeofPascalwhichwentwithhereverywhere,“whetheritisreallygoodforawomantolivewithamanwhoismorallyhersuperior,asRichardismine。Itmakesonesodependent。IsupposeIfeelforhimwhatmymotherandwomenofhergenerationfeltforChrist。

Itjustshowsthatonecan’tdowithout_something_。“Shethenfellintoasleep,whichwasasusualextremelysoundandrefreshing,butvisitedbyfantasticdreamsofgreatGreeklettersstalkingroundtheroom,whenshewokeupandlaughedtoherself,rememberingwhereshewasandthattheGreekletterswererealpeople,lyingasleepnotmanyyardsaway。Then,thinkingoftheblackseaoutsidetossingbeneaththemoon,sheshuddered,andthoughtofherhusbandandtheothersascompanionsonthevoyage。

Thedreamswerenotconfinedtoherindeed,butwentfromonebraintoanother。Theyalldreamtofeachotherthatnight,aswasnatural,consideringhowthinthepartitionswerebetweenthem,andhowstrangelytheyhadbeenliftedofftheearthtositnexteachotherinmid-ocean,andseeeverydetailofeachother’sfaces,andhearwhatevertheychancedtosay。

NextmorningClarissawasupbeforeanyoneelse。Shedressed,andwasoutondeck,breathingthefreshairofacalmmorning,and,makingthecircuitoftheshipforthesecondtime,sheranstraightintotheleanpersonofMr。Grice,thesteward。

Sheapologised,andatthesametimeaskedhimtoenlightenher:

whatwerethoseshinybrassstandsfor,halfglassonthetop?

Shehadbeenwondering,andcouldnotguess。Whenhehaddoneexplaining,shecriedenthusiastically:

“Idothinkthattobeasailormustbethefinestthingintheworld!“

“Andwhatd’youknowaboutit?“saidMr。Grice,kindlinginastrangemanner。“Pardonme。WhatdoesanymanorwomanbroughtupinEnglandknowaboutthesea?Theyprofesstoknow;buttheydon’t。“

Thebitternesswithwhichhespokewasominousofwhatwastocome。

Heledherofftohisownquarters,and,sittingontheedgeofabrass-boundtable,lookinguncommonlylikeasea-gull,withherwhitetaperingbodyandthinalertface,Mrs。Dallowayhadtolistentothetiradeofafanaticalman。Didsherealise,tobeginwith,whataverysmallpartoftheworldthelandwas?

Howpeaceful,howbeautiful,howbenignantincomparisonthesea?

ThedeepwaterscouldsustainEuropeunaidedifeveryearthlyanimaldiedoftheplagueto-morrow。Mr。Gricerecalleddreadfulsightswhichhehadseenintherichestcityoftheworld——menandwomenstandinginlinehourafterhourtoreceiveamugofgreasysoup。

“AndIthoughtofthegoodfleshdownherewaitingandaskingtobecaught。I’mnotexactlyaProtestant,andI’mnotaCatholic,butIcouldalmostprayforthedaysofpoperytocomeagain——

becauseofthefasts。“

Ashetalkedhekeptopeningdrawersandmovinglittleglassjars。

Herewerethetreasureswhichthegreatoceanhadbestoweduponhim——

palefishingreenishliquids,blobsofjellywithstreamingtresses,fishwithlightsintheirheads,theylivedsodeep。

“Theyhaveswumaboutamongbones,“Clarissasighed。

“You’rethinkingofShakespeare,“saidMr。Grice,andtakingdownacopyfromashelfwelllinedwithbooks,recitedinanemphaticnasalvoice:

Fullfathomfivethyfatherlies,“Agrandfellow,Shakespeare,“hesaid,replacingthevolume。

Clarissawassogladtohearhimsayso。

“Whichisyourfavouriteplay?Iwonderifit’sthesameasmine?“

“_HenrytheFifth_,“saidMr。Grice。

“Joy!“criedClarissa。“Itis!“

_Hamlet_waswhatyoumightcalltoointrospectiveforMr。Grice,thesonnetstoopassionate;HenrytheFifthwastohimthemodelofanEnglishgentleman。ButhisfavouritereadingwasHuxley,HerbertSpencer,andHenryGeorge;whileEmersonandThomasHardyhereadforrelaxation。HewasgivingMrs。DallowayhisviewsuponthepresentstateofEnglandwhenthebreakfastbellrungsoimperiouslythatshehadtotearherselfaway,promisingtocomebackandbeshownhissea-weeds。

Theparty,whichhadseemedsooddtoherthenightbefore,wasalreadygatheredroundthetable,stillundertheinfluenceofsleep,andthereforeuncommunicative,butherentrancesentalittleflutterlikeabreathofairthroughthemall。

“I’vehadthemostinterestingtalkofmylife!“sheexclaimed,takingherseatbesideWilloughby。“D’yourealisethatoneofyourmenisaphilosopherandapoet?“

“Averyinterestingfellow——that’swhatIalwayssay,“saidWilloughby,distinguishingMr。Grice。“ThoughRachelfindshimabore。“

“He’saborewhenhetalksaboutcurrents,“saidRachel。Hereyeswerefullofsleep,butMrs。Dallowaystillseemedtoherwonderful。

“I’venevermetaboreyet!“saidClarissa。

“AndIshouldsaytheworldwasfullofthem!“exclaimedHelen。

Butherbeauty,whichwasradiantinthemorninglight,tookthecontrarinessfromherwords。

“Iagreethatit’stheworstonecanpossiblysayofanyone,“

saidClarissa。“Howmuchratheronewouldbeamurdererthanabore!“

sheadded,withherusualairofsayingsomethingprofound。

“Onecanfancylikingamurderer。It’sthesamewithdogs。

Somedogsareawfulbores,poordears。“

IthappenedthatRichardwassittingnexttoRachel。Shewascuriouslyconsciousofhispresenceandappearance——hiswell-cutclothes,hiscracklingshirt-front,hiscuffswithblueringsroundthem,andthesquare-tipped,verycleanfingerswiththeredstoneonthelittlefingerofthelefthand。

“Wehadadogwhowasaboreandknewit,“hesaid,addressingherincool,easytones。“HewasaSkyeterrier,oneofthoselongchaps,withlittlefeetpokingoutfromtheirhairlike——

likecaterpillars——no,likesofasIshouldsay。Well,wehadanotherdogatthesametime,ablackbriskanimal——aSchipperke,Ithink,youcallthem。Youcan’timagineagreatercontrast。TheSkyesoslowanddeliberate,lookingupatyoulikesomeoldgentlemanintheclub,asmuchastosay,“Youdon’treallymeanit,doyou?“

andtheSchipperkeasquickasaknife。IlikedtheSkyebest,Imustconfess。Therewassomethingpatheticabouthim。“

Thestoryseemedtohavenoclimax。

“Whathappenedtohim?“Rachelasked。

“That’saverysadstory,“saidRichard,loweringhisvoiceandpeelinganapple。“Hefollowedmywifeinthecaronedayandgotrunoverbyabruteofacyclist。“

“Washekilled?“askedRachel。

ButClarissaatherendofthetablehadoverheard。

“Don’ttalkofit!“shecried。“It’sathingIcan’tbeartothinkoftothisday。“

Surelythetearsstoodinhereyes?

“That’sthepainfulthingaboutpets,“saidMr。Dalloway;“theydie。

ThefirstsorrowIcanrememberwasforthedeathofadormouse。

IregrettosaythatIsatuponit。Still,thatdidn’tmakeoneanythelesssorry。HereliestheduckthatSamuelJohnsonsaton,eh?

Iwasbigformyage。“

“Thenwehadcanaries,“hecontinued,“apairofring-doves,alemur,andatonetimeamartin。“

“Didyouliveinthecountry?“Rachelaskedhim。

“Welivedinthecountryforsixmonthsoftheyear。WhenIsay’we’Imeanfoursisters,abrother,andmyself。There’snothinglikecomingofalargefamily。Sistersparticularlyaredelightful。“

“Dick,youwerehorriblyspoilt!“criedClarissaacrossthetable。

“No,no。Appreciated,“saidRichard。

Rachelhadotherquestionsonthetipofhertongue;orratheroneenormousquestion,whichshedidnotintheleastknowhowtoputintowords。Thetalkappearedtooairytoadmitofit。

“Pleasetellme——everything。“Thatwaswhatshewantedtosay。

Hehaddrawnapartonelittlechinkandshowedastonishingtreasures。

Itseemedtoherincrediblethatamanlikethatshouldbewillingtotalktoher。Hehadsistersandpets,andoncelivedinthecountry。

Shestirredhertearoundandround;thebubbleswhichswamandclusteredinthecupseemedtoherliketheunionoftheirminds。

Thetalkmeanwhileracedpasther,andwhenRichardsuddenlystatedinajoculartoneofvoice,“I’msureMissVinrace,now,hassecretleaningstowardsCatholicism,“shehadnoideawhattoanswer,andHelencouldnothelplaughingatthestartshegave。

However,breakfastwasoverandMrs。Dallowaywasrising。

“Ialwaysthinkreligion’slikecollectingbeetles,“shesaid,summingupthediscussionasshewentupthestairswithHelen。

“Onepersonhasapassionforblackbeetles;anotherhasn’t;it’snogoodarguingaboutit。What’s_your_blackbeetlenow?“

“Isupposeit’smychildren,“saidHelen。

“Ah——that’sdifferent,“Clarissabreathed。“Dotellme。

Youhaveaboy,haven’tyou?Isn’titdetestable,leavingthem?“

Itwasasthoughablueshadowhadfallenacrossapool。

Theireyesbecamedeeper,andtheirvoicesmorecordial。

Insteadofjoiningthemastheybegantopacethedeck,Rachelwasindignantwiththeprosperousmatrons,whomadeherfeeloutsidetheirworldandmotherless,andturningback,sheleftthemabruptly。

Sheslammedthedoorofherroom,andpulledouthermusic。

Itwasalloldmusic——BachandBeethoven,MozartandPurcell——

thepagesyellow,theengravingroughtothefinger。Inthreeminutesshewasdeepinaverydifficult,veryclassicalfugueinA,andoverherfacecameaqueerremoteimpersonalexpressionofcompleteabsorptionandanxioussatisfaction。Nowshestumbled;

nowshefalteredandhadtoplaythesamebartwiceover;butaninvisiblelineseemedtostringthenotestogether,fromwhichroseashape,abuilding。Shewassofarabsorbedinthiswork,foritwasreallydifficulttofindhowallthesesoundsshouldstandtogether,anddrewuponthewholeofherfaculties,thatsheneverheardaknockatthedoor。Itwasburstimpulsivelyopen,andMrs。Dallowaystoodintheroomleavingthedooropen,sothatastripofthewhitedeckandoftheblueseaappearedthroughtheopening。TheshapeoftheBachfuguecrashedtotheground。

“Don’tletmeinterrupt,“Clarissaimplored。“Iheardyouplaying,andIcouldn’tresist。IadoreBach!“

Rachelflushedandfumbledherfingersinherlap。Shestoodupawkwardly。

“It’stoodifficult,“shesaid。

“Butyouwereplayingquitesplendidly!Ioughttohavestayedoutside。“

“No,“saidRachel。

Sheslid_Cowper’s__Letters_and_Wuthering__Heights_outofthearm-chair,sothatClarissawasinvitedtositthere。

“Whatadearlittleroom!“shesaid,lookinground。

“Oh,_Cowper’s__Letters>!“I’veneverreadthem。Aretheynice?“

“Ratherdull,“saidRachel。

“Hewroteawfullywell,didn’the?“saidClarissa;“——ifonelikesthatkindofthing——finishedhissentencesandallthat。

_Wuthering__Heights_!Ah——that’smoreinmyline。Ireallycouldn’texistwithouttheBrontes!Don’tyoulovethem?Still,onthewhole,I’dratherlivewithoutthemthanwithoutJaneAusten。“

Lightlyandatrandomthoughshespoke,hermannerconveyedanextraordinarydegreeofsympathyanddesiretobefriend。

“JaneAusten?Idon’tlikeJaneAusten,“saidRachel。

“Youmonster!“Clarissaexclaimed。“Icanonlyjustforgiveyou。